The GREAT Woman

Great Eastern Life – The GREAT Woman Pledge

Tell us why “It’s great to be a woman!” For each pledge received, Great Eastern will make a donation to Breast Cancer Foundation.


Oh yesssss~!~!~!~ When I saw this ad for the first time, the lightning thought which stroked through my mind was “Oh yesssss! I absolutely loveeeeeee my monthly menstrual cramps which always torture and reduce me into a pathetic wriggly worm in bed.” with a full 360degrees roll of eyes. Not to mention those “wet” days where I have to carry a baby’s mat with me so that I dont stain my white sofa or my newly changed bedsheets. The worse of all would be the hormonal changes in the body, which means a breakout of pimples, lethargy, restlessness, and not to mention the amazing power to transform a sunny queen into an EMO queen.

I love love love them lor.

I probably cant comment how wonderful it is to bear a seedling of life in the tummy for 10months until it springs into a beautiful baby like many noble mothers have marvelled, since I’ve never been pregnant in my whole life, yet. But I’m woefully, pessimistically expecting the gain in weight when/if I’m pregnant. Therefore, for the time being, the only “fantasy” which I have now is how many kg I may gain if I ever get pregnant. Which of course, is very unappealing. And this noble duty of bearing offspring lies with women, until scientists invent a way to let the males give birth instead. Haha. And I haven mention about the morning sickness, delivery pain all that yet!

Can I say how honored that we females are given this holy duty of giving offspring? =)

For NOW, until I experienced that myself, I cant imagine that being a strong contributing factor to being a woman and I’m giving a disclaimer here. Who knows, my views might change when it’s my turn to give birth. =)

While I totally agree both sexes have to bear responsibility for an unplanned baby, why is that the female will always be blamed more and be given the “look” when such things happen? I seldom see the males get blamed huh~ And to prevent such things from happening at all costs, all times, we females have to be constantly on the pill which purportedly said to cause higher risk in breast cancer. Ok I know there is that “C” thing but I’ve heard cases of it being torn or so. The females, seemed to carry more responsibilities from the day we’re born with our wombs, as decided by God.

I know some girls love their sexes because of the number one reason of being able to go ladies night, enjoy free drinks on the house or from guys etc. But aiya, you’ll grow through that phrase in your life and by the time when you can jolly well afford your drinks and cover charges, it’s actually not that big a deal. I know humans will always love “sales” or “discounts”, but personally, I dont see that as a strong contributing factor to being a woman. And I always believe nothing comes free in this world. Clubs offer ladies night because ladies will attract the men, who in turn will spend alot on drinks for a higher chance in…whatever agenda they’ll up to. And girls who wish to enjoy free drinks have to socialize no matter they like it or not. I have to say, alcohol can loosen a female’s inhibition. An unfriendly and haughty woman might just open up to a simple conversation after little alcohol. =) Butttt………………………….

That is provided what?

That is provided that the female is at least presentable to be picked up! It’s almost 99% proven that males are visual creatures and no matter how much they claimed that the inner beauty is more important, they always follow up with a disclaimer, “Hmm…but at least must be presentable…and not too fat.” So what’s the conclusion? You have to be presentable before you can get hitched! Because if you’re not presentable to start with, the males wont even get near you and try to know you. If that’s so, how can they see your inner beauty?

In this era, Men are valued by their brains and treasured by their net worth while Women by their looks and figures, machiam like a vase like that. Dont you realise all the popular female bloggers are pretty and even when they’re not so very, they have to use photoshop? On the contrary, for the famous male bloggers, most dont even (need to) reveal their faces, like rockson, LBT, sibeisian and the ones who revealed……….like kennysia, Mr Brown…you know lah huh~

SoOoooo………….this is why to a certain extent, dolling up and maintaining complexion and figure is a compulsory context from the day we were born. Some mothers even encouraged their teens daughters to go for plastic surgeries and these kids were brought up thinking the most important mission and meaning in their lives is to get prettier and prettier, hitch a handsome, young and rich hubby and be a tai tai.

Sigh, I also dont wish to say much about them lah but well, when I was younger, I also wish to get hitched too! Not to be tai tai or whatever(seriously I didnt think that far), merely to be treasured and be loved. =D So, I had to doll up lor! And it’s troublesomeeeeee. We have to take care of making an impression without looking like a s*ut or trying too hard and also be constantly worried about running light when we simply wore lesser because of the freaking hot weather. So unfair isnt it??

And recently, I’m getting sick with those wired garments(if you know what I mean). It’s an agony especially when you have them on for more than 10hours. Guys, you can never understand that feeling. Why we need them?? Because we’re born with 2 more pieces of meat on our body…. If only gravity dont exists…. =P What’s more, we’re constantly judged by the SIZE of that 2 extra assets, which is clearly obvious by almost 90% of clothings we wear. Too small leh, kanna suan. Too big leh, kanna teased. Both are not nice feelings.

Guys can simply look smart in t-shirt with jeans while girls have to do more stuff in order to stand out just because guys cant see inner beauty when other hourglass-figured, sexy kittens were strutting around in backless sheaths and stilettos. =) Oh, and some guys think these group of stunning ladies were being materialistic because they were not given much attention initially as compared with other guys, contributing the reasons being, they’re not as rich or suave or whatever.

Actually hor, it’s just a number game lah. You see, when some females had put in sooo much effort to look their best, naturally the number they attract is also not few. And when people have choices, they will choose. It’s as simple as that! If you have a group of ladies salivating over you, will you give more attention to the prettier ones? Of course you do. Will you eye the sexy-figured ladies more? Of course you do. Will you prefer the younger ones? Of course you do!

So, dont pot calling the kettle black lah. =P

Although after the initial impression, I do believe we all look at the inner beauty, a.k.a personality etc.

That being said, I’m the weird one out. I dont go for looks/status, not even at first impression. Rather, I see how the guy speaks and carry himself. It’s VERY important. And I have this thing for guys who are funny. =) Handsome, monotonous dudes are a bore. =P

Some girls love being females because they feel they will always get pampered by guys. But guys dont get pampered meh? I pamper my hubby sOoOo much okie! So actually it depends on what kinda boyfriend or spouse you get. If you get a buay zi dong boyfriend or hubby, he still wont pamper you.

Actually, one of the few sought-after privileges of being a woman by many, is the excuse to fall back on the term “weaker sex”

1) when one did not do her best,

2) one who merely wish to do lesser,

3) and when one was being weak emotionally

I dont like to fall back on either of these 3 factors although I have to admit sometimes I do when I’m emotionally down. You’ll expect more words of consolation when you’re a girl. Guys usually get no more than a pat on the shoulder. Lol. Ke lian hor? But sometimes, it’s actually the term of “the weaker sex” which deters some females from climbing even higher in life. And when it didnt, for some outstanding females, they’re termed as dominating, assertive, aggressive and ambitious. And most of the time, all these deter their suitors too, especially when it’s tedious when the guys have to constantly do better than the females so that they’re in a better status to woo them. Where couples are concerned, it often raise an eyebrow whenever females are earning more than their male partners. The male spouses usually dont like it too.

In this modern society, it’s tough being a woman because we have to juggle so many roles in life, i.e, in our work, as a spouse, mother, daughter or sister etc. And it’s not easy to excel ALL our roles at the SAME time. I’m still trying very hard. I’ll probably try to do better until I stop breathing.

I AM GREAT because I FEEL GREAT!

NOT because I’m a woman, because I am myself.


Muahahahahaha! =P

(P/S The above are purely my personal opinions. “The Great Woman Pledge” strives to instill pride amongst women! So, if you can, tell Great Eastern why you think “It’s great to be a woman!” and inspire others. Great Eastern will make a donation to Breast Cancer Foundation for every pledge received.  =)

Reminiscence for 2010

Dearie is coming home now to accompany me. Which of course makes my day. =D Also, the medicine I just took also made me feel better. This might be a good time for me to pen some thoughts for reminiscence since year 2010 had again, passed in a flash.

To quote Elaine, “Resolutions anyone? But I have never been one to keep to my resolutions so I dun bother making them in the very first place.”

I was giggling while I read that statement because it reminded me of myself. Just that I never have the guts to admit it. I really admire her for how candid and natural she is. Before I read her blog(I dare not claim I know her despite we have emailed few times), I’ve never know such a humble, simple and down-to-earth beauty exists. =) I’ve learned from her to be more truthful to myself and not be weigh down by this invisible cloak call “pride”. Sometimes we see many people who looked much more fortunate than us, then sub-consciously we tried to mimic what they do, how they carry themselves etc, when actually it’s so much more comforting, fulfilling and meaningful to just be ourselves and the way we are. =)

Another lesson that I’ve learnt over the past year is never assume everyone knows how you think and understands your intention no matter how close you think you are to them. In conjunction to the mentioned point, do not hesitate to explain yourself further if there’s a tiny chance that people might misunderstand your intentions.

Dont ever think that, “Aiya, she should know I’m not this kinda person. We’ve known each other for years!”

No, dont ever assume that, unless it’s with your super super close friends. Hmm, to date, there’s only 3 friends whom I really dare to say what I really think(100% without holding back) to them. As I’m sure they know I’ve absolutely no evil intentions nor hidden meanings behind my words. Of course, other than the meaningful friendship, it got to do with their personality as well. =D For other good friends, I just dare not gamble. Not anymore. =X

Sigh, but I heard a kinda meaningful quote before, also from Elaine’s blog.

<blockquote> Dont bother to explain. Your besties dont need it and your enemies wont believe it.”</blockquote>

Sometimes, I’m not one who thinks too much before talking, in front of people whom I hold the dearest. Dont you wish for no pretense and hypocrisy infront of your closest? I dont see the need to phrase my sentences ever so carefully as if treading on thin ice or say patronizing things which I dont meant at all. Life is pretty hard already, why make it harder? I understand there’s a word call “tact”, I’ll keep that in mind. However, it’s my mistake to assume people can accept what I can accept, or nonchalant with things which I pretty much bo chup. There are some stuff which I can accept whilst other people cant. Similarly, there are things which other people can accept while I cant. We are all made differently afterall. So well, sometimes, it’s essential to understand different individuals’ limits; dont cross their line.

To quote Robert T. Kiyosaki,

Teach and You Shall Receive – Whenever you feel “short” or in “need” of something, give what you want first and it will come back in buckets. That is true for money, a smile, love, friendship … I just trust that the principle of reciprocity is true”.

I used to believe that was true. Hmm…….I believed in the natural goodness of everyone and there’s always reason behind how a person’s personality was molded.

For example, Ali might be egoistic because he was not loved by his parents since young and all his ego is a wall of pride to protect himself.

Actually egoistic is not so much of a big thing lah, because it doesnt cause any harm or distress to anyone. This is merely an example. Of course there are other flaws out there which are less…acceptable.

I will always give chances…or accommodates….to the extent that through years…I’m accustomed already. It became a habit and well, sometimes it’s difficult to try to reverse your situation when it has been like that for many many years. For example, if Guy A always drives Guy B home because Guy B dont drive(despite it’s not convenient at all) for years, it’s pretty hard to blurt out one fine day, “Erm…actually your house is not really on the way, nor is it near to mine. Do you mind to go home yourself?” Because Guy B has been so accustomed to you fetching him back and forth that he’ll probably be offended that you suddenly dont wish to ferry him.

This is merely an example, but you’ll get the gist of it.

It might be a tinnnny thing but when every tinnnnny thing gets repeated over and over again, through years and years, with no reciprocation, it can be very….well you know, disheartening. And we always wish to be reciprocated you see. Even if it’s once in a month, it’s also good! However, I grew tired of waiting to be reciprocated. I’m pretty sadistic in nature actually, sometimes I kept finding excuses for my treasured ones that even dearie find me pretty amazing. Lol. But well, it’s always a sucky feeling to wake up from a dream, an illusion. To slap yourself awake to the cold, hard, realistic truth, that you have always been the self-sacrificial one. Hmm….pretty much reminds you of some BGR problems isnt it? Yeah…kinda similar in some aspects. But well, cry all you want over it. Cry one night! It is more than enough for any person’s worth, after that, you’ll move on! =) Remember there’s many other people who deserves you more. =)

I’m still a softie at heart actually. Sometimes through time or a small gift, I’ll forget the whole thing happens. =)

Another 9 days, it will be 4 years pa-tor anniversary with dearie. Haha. Wow, we were both pretty amazed that it has been 4 years! It feels shorter. =) Pretty good, meaning still honeymoon period. Muahahaha. I think both of us has really changed in many ways.

:

:

Him

He treats me better now.

I shant elaborate how he used to treat me(it’s not thattttt bad la) in the past, it’s not my style. What matters is that, he treats me much much better now. I really appreciate how he cares more for my feelings and especially when I’m sick. His EQ also improved alot. He now knows how to say words of appreciation as well as more zi-dong where my mummy is concerned. 比较会做人了! Though, not the other kind of “做人” okie? Dont notti notii.

:

:

Me

I’m milder in temper now, I think, towards him. Lol. I think I used to be more hard-headed and high-prided. It’s not my habit to express how bad I feel in every aspect because I see that as being “soft” and “vulnerable”. So weird, my character is so much like a guy. But now, for example, when I’m sick, I’ll…whimper in a way and request for attention in a soft way. LOL. Not always though. It’s never like that in the past. I will only put up a black face and expect him to know that I feel bad and come comfort me without being asked! Which of course he dont lah! Guys are still very dense, just buy that. So end up, I’ll throw temper and demand why he cant be more caring when I need him most etc. Then we’ll end up quarreling.

Sometimes, 以柔制刚 是对的! Haha.

:

We’re still considering should we have a mini-celebration for our 4 years pa-tor anniversary, given our busy schedules. Hmm……….see how. =) Flying Pattaya on Sunday.

My dearie is so funny lah. Just now we saw some…..what huh…cherry blossoms huh…the kind of trees which people put up during Chinese New Year, and I wondered out loud;

Me: Oooo…..New year liao, what should we do with our Christmas tree?

Dearie: We put ang bao on the tree loh

Me: Oh! Good idea hor!

Dearie: Then moon cake festival, we put mini lanterns loh.

Me: Er…………

Dearie: Then 端午节, we hang mini bah-zhang lor.

Me: Wahahahaha

Dearie: The Christmas tree so poor thing, it must be thinking, “我明明是Christmas tree,为什么要乱乱挂bah-zhang 在我身上leh?

Me: Hahahahahaha!

:

Let us all embrace a better us in the new year and I love each and everyone of my friends and I thank all of you for loving me just the way I am. =D Smuacks Smuacks!! Please do treasure all your precious around you and let’s not take everyone for granted!

 

*Edited* 爱没有合不合适,只有珍惜不珍惜?

Just realised wrong draft was being published.

刚搬进这个房子的那天,她整理完全部的东西,最后拿出一个非常精致的玻璃瓶,对他说道:“亲爱的,3个月内,你让我每哭一次,我就往里面加一滴水,代表我的眼泪。要是它满了,我就收拾我的东西离开这房子。”

  男人不以为然,有点纳闷:“你们女人也太神经质了吧!就这么不信任我么,那还有什么可谈?我让你搬过来和我一起生活,是为了照顾你,不是欺负你的!”

  女人说:“好男人不会让心爱的女人受一点点伤,我会记录下我为什么流泪,不会是莫名其妙的。”

  “那好吧,抱抱~!”

  两个月后,女人把那瓶子给男人看,说:“已经满一半了,在两个月内,我们是否有必要查看一下是什么问题呢?”说完递了一本精致的小笔记本给男人。

  男人没有马上打开来看,他的表情里有一丝惊讶,还有点哭笑不得的意味,似乎没有想到女人的眼泪可以这么多,盛得这么快,又觉得女人是小题大作了,但是很可爱。

  他打开本子开始看,惊讶女人怎么写了那么多。男人一边看着,女人一边说话:“第一次吵架,是在第3天,而且还是一大早,你刚醒来有点懵懂,挤的牙膏不知道怎么的飞到镜子上了,那是我刚擦干净的,我说你连挤牙膏都不会啊,你就来脾气了,然后吵起来……”

  男人沉默着。女人继续说:“有天晚上我让你帮洗下那几件衣服,因为水太凉,你只顾着玩游戏迟迟不肯动,后来吵起来,我很失望你忘记了我的生理期不能碰冷水,委屈……”

  “还有一次,我很累了,你还不肯去洗澡睡觉,明明知道我特敏感,有点神经衰弱,哪怕一点点敲键盘的声音都能让我难以入睡,我一情急就说了你这个人自私的话,我们吵起来,你说了一大堆辩论自己不自私自私的人是我之后甩门出去上网通宵,我打你电话你没拿我又不敢自己一个人去找你……”

  女人这时候有点激动了,眼球开始泛红,说:“还有一次……”男人打断了她的话,“亲爱的,别说了……”

  沉默…长久的沉默……

  还是女人打破了沉默:“是不是我们真的不合适?如果是这样,结婚了还是会离婚吧?我们的个性都那么强,谁都不肯退让。”

  气氛有点尴尬。

  本子里记录的事情都是那么细小的事情,每次吵架的原因都是那么的简单,男人看着这本子,似乎在体会着女人的心情,大男子是不会去计较这些小事,原本觉得每次和好之后都没事,女人就爱拿这些来说事,但是当他认真去看的时候,他也开始难过了,女人很细心,把事件、心情都写了,还自己总结了一下原因。原来最微小的事情累积起来是很让人痛苦的,他看得出,女人从失望慢慢变成绝望。

  他想,大概是因为每次吵架,两人都是喜欢在吵架中找出对方不爱自己的证据。他突然意识到,这是个很严重的问题!而且每次吵架,双方都是在心情不稳定的时候,就是还有别的烦心事的时候,把不好的情绪带进了两个人的生活里。

  “亲爱的别难过……”男人终于说话了:“我请个假,我们去旅游吧。”

  他们去了第一次一起旅游的地方,太多美好的回忆被唤起,原来彼此是那么深深地爱着对方,这时的女人特别温柔,这时的男人特别体贴。

  “亲爱的,你还认为我们结婚的话,会离婚么?”男人问。

  “我想不是我们不合适,像现在,我们是那么快乐,一切都那么美好,可是一回到我们的现实生活里,为什么就变了呢?”

  “亲爱的,难道我们现在不在现实里吗?”

  “……”女人楞了。

  “因为那时候我们都把注意力集中在负面的事物上并且放大了那些负面的心情。并且喜欢找对方不爱自己的证据,然后彼此个性都很倔不肯服输太要面子。”

  女人觉得确实是如此,原来,双方只是需要一点点忍让,一点点包容。男人带她回顾这初次旅游的地点,是真的用心了,想起那时候他们在一起还不久,为了让对方觉得自己好,都表现出自己最好的一面。

  “还有半个月,如果那瓶子还是半瓶,那么,亲爱的,嫁给我吧!”

  女人钻进男人怀里笑开了颜

  后来他们结婚了。很少再吵架。如果粗心的男人不小心碰掉了杯子,女人不会再开口就骂,因为在女人开口之前,男人已经在道歉,说对不起,都是我不小心的,赔两个给老婆!老婆尽管去选你喜欢的!女人就笑了,然后说,不用买啦,反正还有杯子,再说也不都是你的错,怪我自己没把杯子放好,让你碰到啦!

  原来真的没有合适不合适,只有珍惜不珍惜,能一起走一起进步是幸福的!

Observations made and opinions formed while reading:

刚搬进这个房子的那天,她整理完全部的东西,最后拿出一个非常精致的玻璃瓶,对他说道:“亲爱的,3个月内,你让我每哭一次,我就往里面加一滴水,代表我的眼泪。要是它满了,我就收拾我的东西离开这房子。”

(Just imagine your boyfriend said that to you, how will you feel? Terribly disappointed isnt it? As it seems, there is no trust and confidence in the relationship at all. And if everything must be measured like this, should the other party also measure in the same way, using a glass bottle? And once 3 months is up, whose bottle contains more water has the right to dump the other party? Fair and square? Sometimes, it doesnt mean you have more tears means you’re more hurt. And it doesnt mean if you shed more tears means your partner meant to hurt you. It merely meant you 2 have different priorities and have yet to reach a compromise.)

  男人不以为然,有点纳闷:“你们女人也太神经质了吧!就这么不信任我么,那还有什么可谈?我让你搬过来和我一起生活,是为了照顾你,不是欺负你的!”

  女人说:“好男人不会让心爱的女人受一点点伤,我会记录下我为什么流泪,不会是莫名其妙的。”

(记录下来?? Do recording?? Is it a little too extreme?? If any dispute happen, it’s better to discuss it there and then rather than bottling up or recording down. I do not agree with recording of unhappy events for the purpose of quarreling with more punch and reason in the future. Who will like being 翻 旧 帐?

For e.g, “On XX-XX-XX day, you did QQQ and YYY, thus made me very (*&^%$*”. I dont know about you, but that will make me feel damn irritated. If you have anything unhappy with, say it there and then. After 2 months, show me a notebook with recordings of what happened, who will remember? You can? Well, I cant.

And also, while recording, wont you be making yourself feel worse? Seeing the booklet getting more and more occupied with writings, doesnt that make you even more pessimistic and 绝望? Once recorded, one can never forget the mistakes the partner made, or rather, makes it even harder to forget. And life cant move on. Sweet memories are worth recording because they’re worth reminiscing over a million times. Not bitter memories.)

  “那好吧,抱抱~!”

  两个月后,女人把那瓶子给男人看,说:“已经满一半了,在两个月内,我们是否有必要查看一下是什么问题呢?”说完递了一本精致的小笔记本给男人。

  男人没有马上打开来看,他的表情里有一丝惊讶,还有点哭笑不得的意味,似乎没有想到女人的眼泪可以这么多,盛得这么快,又觉得女人是小题大作了,但是很可爱。

  他打开本子开始看,惊讶女人怎么写了那么多。男人一边看着,女人一边说话:“第一次吵架,是在第3天,而且还是一大早,你刚醒来有点懵懂,挤的牙膏不知道怎么的飞到镜子上了,那是我刚擦干净的,我说你连挤牙膏都不会啊,你就来脾气了,然后吵起来……”

(Toothpaste staining a clean mirror by mistake? It’s just a trivial matter. Guys are naturally more clumsy than females. And most people will be blur blur in the morning. How much toothpaste can there be? Wipe it off will do.

If I’m going to KP my hubby for every single mess he made in the house despite how clean I maintained it, and then recording one by one down in a notebook, GOD…….then I wont have time for anything else! There’s absolutely no warrant for the comment, “你连挤牙膏都不会啊”. Knowing your partner in a grouchy mood, the least you can do is to goad him into an argument over something sooOOo trivial. )

  男人沉默着。女人继续说:“有天晚上我让你帮洗下那几件衣服,因为水太凉,你只顾着玩游戏迟迟不肯动,后来吵起来,我很失望你忘记了我的生理期不能碰冷水,委屈……”

(Yes. The guy is at fault but if ladies are going to drop tears over minor, sensitive things which guys cant remember, they’re going to cry themselves blind.

Guys are simple. Just instruct them or remind them to do if they really forgot. Dont make them guess as they’re very straight-forward. Find out if they’re really engaged with the game, hence delaying the chore, OR that they really dont like to do the chore. If it’s the former, ask them to do after they’re done with what they’re busy with. Nobody likes having their games/work interrupted, so do I. If it’s the latter, work out a solution. Either you do it, or engage part-time maid or whatever. Compromise, with reason and logic. When he understands it’s his duty, he will do it. It’s a skill, to learn what to say at the right time)

  “还有一次,我很累了,你还不肯去洗澡睡觉,明明知道我特敏感,有点神经衰弱,哪怕一点点敲键盘的声音都能让我难以入睡,我一情急就说了你这个人自私的话,我们吵起来,你说了一大堆辩论自己不自私自私的人是我之后甩门出去上网通宵,我打你电话你没拿我又不敢自己一个人去找你……”

(That’s the culprit, “明明知道我 bla bla bla bla”. No! They 不知道. Just get that into your head. Sometimes they know but most of the time, they forgot, especially when they focused on other things which they feel are more important. They need reminders again and again. You can repeat it with more force but shouldnt use the “你这个人很自私!” because it’s very offensive. Nobody likes that.)

  女人这时候有点激动了,眼球开始泛红,说:“还有一次……”男人打断了她的话,“亲爱的,别说了……”

  沉默…长久的沉默……

  还是女人打破了沉默:“是不是我们真的不合适?如果是这样,结婚了还是会离婚吧?我们的个性都那么强,谁都不肯退让。”

  气氛有点尴尬。

  本子里记录的事情都是那么细小的事情,每次吵架的原因都是那么的简单,男人看着这本子,似乎在体会着女人的心情,大男子是不会去计较这些小事,原本觉得每次和好之后都没事,女人就爱拿这些来说事,但是当他认真去看的时候,他也开始难过了,女人很细心,把事件、心情都写了,还自己总结了一下原因。原来最微小的事情累积起来是很让人痛苦的,他看得出,女人从失望慢慢变成绝望。

  他想,大概是因为每次吵架,两人都是喜欢在吵架中找出对方不爱自己的证据。他突然意识到,这是个很严重的问题!而且每次吵架,双方都是在心情不稳定的时候,就是还有别的烦心事的时候,把不好的情绪带进了两个人的生活里。

(This is the root of all quarrels. You tend to give the wrong response, say the wrong things in a wrong tone when you’re not feeling your best. You might be in a lousy mood, or sick or having PMS. Not only girls have PMS, guys have too, just that it’s less frequent. And whenever these happens, girls took it more seriously than necessary. They read too much into the minor issues and magnify the problems with pessimistic thoughts and insecurities which screams, “He dont love me already…that’s why he forgets this…forgets that..”)

  “亲爱的别难过……” 男人终于说话了:“我请个假,我们去旅游吧。”

  他们去了第一次一起旅游的地方,太多美好的回忆被唤起,原来彼此是那么深深地爱着对方,这时的女人特别温柔,这时的男人特别体贴。

  “亲爱的,你还认为我们结婚的话,会离婚么?”男人问。

  “我想不是我们不合适,像现在,我们是那么快乐,一切都那么美好,可是一回到我们的现实生活里,为什么就变了呢?”

  “亲爱的,难道我们现在不在现实里吗?”

  “……”女人楞了。

  “因为那时候我们都把注意力集中在负面的事物上并且放大了那些负面的心情。并且喜欢找对方不爱自己的证据,然后彼此个性都很倔不肯服输太要面子。”

  女人觉得确实是如此,原来,双方只是需要一点点忍让,一点点包容。男人带她回顾这初次旅游的地点,是真的用心了,想起那时候他们在一起还不久,为了让对方觉得自己好,都表现出自己最好的一面。

  “还有半个月,如果那瓶子还是半瓶,那么,亲爱的,嫁给我吧!”

  女人钻进男人怀里笑开了颜

  后来他们结婚了。很少再吵架。如果粗心的男人不小心碰掉了杯子,女人不会再开口就骂,因为在女人开口之前,男人已经在道歉,说对不起,都是我不小心的,赔两个给老婆!老婆尽管去选你喜欢的!女人就笑了,然后说,不用买啦,反正还有杯子,再说也不都是你的错,怪我自己没把杯子放好,让你碰到啦!

  原来真的没有合适不合适,只有珍惜不珍惜,能一起走一起进步是幸福的!

Nobody is perfect. And the lady in the story is obviously very emotional who cries easily, pessimistic in relationships, thinks too much and most importantly, she dont understand guys and always want them to give in to her in many ways. To her, not giving in to her and understanding her needs means hurting her(just because she cries so easily), thus it’s interpreted as he’s not a 好男人 who loves her very much. That’s not true.

While so many people on FB has been lamenting how touching and meaningful the story is, the super unromantic me remarked, “If I’m the guy, I will certainly dump her. 也太容易哭了吧? 小题大作.” =P”

HAHAHA
:
:
:
Females always wished to be understood but actually, guys also wished for the same thing too. In comparison, guys are 10times easier to understand than girls but most girls cant understand their partners because they’re clouded with too much love and insecurities. Sometimes, when you love someone too much, you tend to develop insecurities, distrust. All these in turn messed up your logic, and your ability to think straight. And you’ll jumped happily into conclusion and made your own ultimatum.

As much as I believe LOVE can do wonders, I still feel finding a suitable partner is much much easier than using LOVE to conquer yourself AND your partner. Because in life, it tends to have more obstacles than charmingly perfect moments. Each and every hurdle needs much effort and patience to conquer. Yes, love can give you power. But in comparison, a couple who’s more suited to each other have lesser hurdles to conquer in life, like maybe, 10. It’s easier for them to stay together and reach the finishing line for both the semi-finals(till marriage) and finals(till death) because it’s not that tiring for them.

On the other hand, for another couple who’s not as well-suited, they will have many hurdles to conquer, like maybe 40 or 50. And it’s difficult to have the “stamina” to last till the very end unless LOVE is very very strong. Half-way, either 1 party might give up the race because it’s just SO HARD if you have to change yourself to accommodate someone for the rest of your life. Each time you give way, accommodate, to conquer one hurdle, after 3 months, you’ll forgot and make the same mistake again, hence comes the 2nd hurdle again. NOT that I meant it’s impossible to reach the finishing line, I merely meant it takes more effort and time as there are more hurdles.

Perhaps some people will enjoy such “happening” and “adventurous” life, jumping over more and more hurdles as they feel a sense of achievement, that their love has come so far, matured so much etc. Maybe I’m just lazy, I’ll prefer a partner with less differences, more clicks so that we have fewer tiring and vexing hurdles but long, romantic strolls ahead together.

Life is short. Rather than spending time and effort in ironing out all the differences, reaching compromises, accommodating each other, giving in, changing yourself to suit the other party….I rather spend all that time enjoying blissful, enchanting and memorable moments with my loved one. =)

=D

I feel SO happy. =D Met my besties, a bunch of ladies and guys and I had an AWESOME time. We shared so much stuff and I dont have to worry about offending them by saying whatever I like because they KNOW me. And I know THEM. Like how much they understand me, I understand them too. No matter how some stuff we shared might raise eyebrows to some, we dont get angry nor annoyed over them no matter how direct they seemed, because we KNOW one another. =D

I guess that’s the difference between besties and common friends. Which is, you need to exercise restraint when you’re communicating with the latter, friends who dont understand you that well because sometimes the things you said, they might take it the different way or direction, or think in the negative direction. And sometimes, if the friendship aint important enough to them, they will just just tossed you aside without clarifying with you first.

But your besties wont do that. If it’s minor enough, they wont even take it to heart, knowing that you dont meant any harm but only had their interest at heart or only jokking. Or the more significant ones, they will clarify with you what you really meant. Anyway, I seldom encounter the latter. =)

On the way back, I sms dearie that I’m on my way back. It’s the same time when I received his sms too, asking me whether I want him to fetch me home. It’s not the first time that we sms each other or call each other at the same time. And everytime it happens, we will say lovingly with a smile, er xin(恶心), at this 心灵相通. \(^o^)/

Upon reaching the door, Vickki, my dear doggie came to greet me with enthusiasm, licking my feet. =) I hurried to have my bath because I think I stinks. Haha.

After I had my bath, dearie asked me whether I’m hungry and if so, he will get me a plate of Mummy’s yummy home-made spaghetti. I was! And I had my fill! Mummy also prepared my favourite dessert, white fungus with snow pear. =D

With all my dearest lovelies around me, loving me and understanding me, I’m really so happy, contented and blissful. =) So I really dont understand why some people can say I’m pathetic. Oh well. Nevermind. All I know is, other than my dearest hubby, mummy and family, I love my friends and they love me as well. If any of my friends dont treasure me like how I treasure them, its okay. I know I had given my all and I didnt let anyone down. Nobody is perfect, I had apologised for my faults. But if the fate had ended, I can only accept the way it is. No matter what happened, I will always remember the happy memories.

Time to snuggle! =D

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Spoiler Alert – 宫心计 episode 28

Okie, dont say I dont warn you ah? I’m watching episode 28 of 宫心计 and the story went:

Tavia, 丽妃 was furious with how her husband, a.k.a Moses, the emperor 李怡 leaps to Charmaine, 刘三好’s defenses instead of hers. Therefore she worked out a plan to get the 吐蕃王子 to be attracted to 刘三好. Eventually it worked because the ham sup 吐蕃王子 requested the emperor to bestow 刘三好 to him as wife, who was merely a servant in the palace.

丽妃 was of course very happy that it worked that way because the emperor had to say “yes” else it might affect the friendship of 2 countries. The kind 贤妃 thus suggested the only way to avoid 刘三好 to be married off to foreign land is to make her the concubine of the emperor.

Now, this is the stupidest idea that one can think of loh.
No wait, there’s an even more stupid idea, by the emperor; by asking 高显扬 to elope with 刘三好. ZzZz.

For 贤妃’s idea, kind as she can be, she might not mind 刘三好 to have the same status as her but it’s still a sucky idea. Because before the 吐蕃王子 had request, 刘三好 was not concubine’s choice. Now that he has request, and suddenly the emperor wants her as concubine. What would he think? He would obviously think the emperor was at odds with him, over a mere servant.

For the emperor’s solution, not only he will lose his important general 高显扬, 马元贽 also have the right to haunt them down nationwide forever. And if they are found, confirm is death penalty. Such an act is totally irreversible and they will be forever on the run.

Unless…the emperor follow up with what I proposed;
Get a female corpse of same age/height/weight as 刘三好 and male corpse of same age/height/weight as 高显扬(dont care how you do it lah), dressed them up in their costumes and…ah-hem, burnt them till they cant be recognized, to fake as 为情自杀. It will be convincing. No matter 马元贽 believe or not, at least for show lor to him and 吐蕃王子, better than nothing. If he did this, 阮翠云 will not get trouble up her sleeves already. 做也要做全套啊!

But even then, the emperor will have a high risk of losing his throne if he dont have 高显扬 by this side. So it’s still a sucky idea!

While I’m watching the drama, at least half a dozen ideas were working on my mind; on how to save 刘三好 from the foreign marriage.

Since obviously the emperor cant say “no”, the only way to save 刘三好 is to let the 吐蕃王子 say “no” instead, or at least, he cant say “yes”. =P

1) Find another prettier female to attract the 吐蕃王子 so that he shifts his attention from 刘三好

2) Let 刘三好 take some medication which will give an impression of some incurable and infectious disease. This method damn popular leh.

3) Let 刘三好 take some medication which will temporary disfigure her face and lied that it’s permanent.
Worse come to worst, then really disfigure her lor. Anyway, if there’s true love, Kevin Cheng, 高显扬 will still want her right? =P Better than marrying off to a foreign land to someone she dont love, with no friends.

4) Firstly promote 刘三好’s status by saying she’s not an ordinary servant but a favourite of the dowager. And that the 吐蕃王子 have to win all 3 of the challenges she threw before she will willingly marry him. Just tease abit on the male’s ego, 吐蕃王子 will definitely accept. After that, just make sure he cant win, by hook or by crook.

5) Secretly spread rumours to the 吐蕃王子 that 刘三好 a jinx and will curse the husband to die abruptly.

6) Secretly spread rumours to the 吐蕃王子 that 刘三好 no longer a virgin. If dont work, go to 9)

7) Let the dowager acknowledge 刘三好 as god daughter and she is not allowed to leave her till she die. To strengthen the idea, dowager can act as if she got an incurable disease and is dying soon, hence need 刘三好 by her side till her last breath. After that, can slowly drag la.

8) Setup 刘三好 so that she commit a minor crime but let the emperor act very furious till he post her to other foreign land(with convicted charges, she cant possibly marry off happily to a prince). Can either get her back in future by saying her crime committed wasnt that serious in the 1st place or allow 高显扬 to leave the palace to find her.

9) *laughing as I’m thinking* Get 高显扬 to erm…make l*ve to 刘三好. HAHAHA. Then set-up an evil person(preferably someone which the emperor wants to eliminate and obviously not an eunuch. HAHA) so that he’s faced with the rape charge. The rapist can be executed for all we care. But 刘三好 cant marry the 吐蕃王子 already since she’s no longer a virgin. Dont think he dont mind. Haha.

10) Get a pretty female to seduce 吐蕃王子 into bed(if really cant succeed then give aphrodisiac or something la) to set him up for rape. Let the emperor to act REAL ANGRY and force him to marry the female instead. If really fail, he also cant marry 刘三好 anymore since he obviously committed a crime in the palace.

Hahaha! I’m truly very 古灵精怪. =P

In comparison, 宫心计 is a disappointment if you use 金枝玉孽 as a yardstick. The latter’s plot is much more thrilling and out of expectation. 宫心计 is too mediocre. It makes Moses, the emperor look…not very bright leh and on the other hand, makes Tavia look smart when she’s only like so-so loh. I mean, when you compare her with 尔淳(Charmaine) and 玉莹(Gigi) in 金枝玉孽 la. =P

Anyway, it will be interesting to see how Charmaine, 刘三好 get back to the palace eventually. I cant think of any way she can come back smoothly as yet, except the lie that she got a identical twin sister. Blearh!

富贵门 is much more thrilling! Great! I’m amazed how Gallen, Yatming, managed to con *almost* an entire bank out of sheer boldness and evil when he has no experience in business or whatsoever. If you’ve realised, he’s very very sensitive and he understands all the people around him very, very well. Fast reflex too, of course, intelligent.

The producer of 金枝玉孽 probably went to make 富贵门 and leave the producer of 覆雨翻云 to make 宫心计 instead. Haha!

Feminine vile

I’m still impatiently waiting for episode 17 of 宫心计 to load. It’s insufferably long. It’s such a enjoyment and thrill to watch because it’s interesting seeing how the concubines plot against each other, who win and who lose etc.

It’s obvious that the main lead, Tavia, starring as 丽妃 will win the other concubine, 贤妃. And each time she plots against, or defend herself against 贤妃, it’s very mind stimulating at my side because at the same time, I will think about the what step she will take and it’s such a kick when it goes the way I guessed. Sometimes, I will have my own ideas too, whether evil or good, all for the sake of analyzing the show. Hahaha. I often think I can be very evil if I want to, just that I choose not to, I’m just not that kind of person. Lucky you people. But if I’m riled….then I cant guarantee loh. Hahaha.

Thank god in this century, I dont have to do such things to pursue a man’s heart because Singapore dont allow bigamy. But again, evil plotting are common in the palace and are not popular in the modern world. Why? Because in the palace, only the emperor seems to matter and ONLY he can give you a better life. In our modern world, we can achieve a better life with our own hands so we do not need to squeeze so much brain juice just to please a guy! Moreover, they’re so many guys around. If one fails, just get another one, you might even get a better one!

There is 1 exception though, when we might need to work our feminine vile in our modern world. That is, when women tried to seduce our husbands. That calls to mind the other popular HK drama, 富贵门. Angie(starred by Kenix Kwok), the 3rd party in the show tried so damn hard to seduce her long-lost love, Marcus(starred by Ray Lui) who was already married to Connie(starred by Jaime Chik). So again, you get to see all sorts of plotting between the 2 females who tried hard to get the man they loved.

Interestingly, in the show, they fought in the dark without letting the guy know. I think in the modern world, the wife would have directly demand an explanation from the husband already. Haha.

Seriously, I dont know if I will care to “fight” if *touch wood* one day someone is to vie dearie with me. It’s actually very contradicting. If dearie has feelings with another women, then I will let him go because I dont feel there’s any use to keep a man who has betrayed me, much less spending effort and making myself busy to snatch him back. True or not??

On the other hand, if dearie only have feelings for me, then it shouldnt be difficult to get him to kick the other woman away, nor will it be too much work for me to do so on his behalf, WITH his support, right? So in both scenarios, there’s no need for 勾心斗角 or 尔虞我诈 liao mah.
It’s clear and direct. =)

Ok, by the time dearie read until here, he will mumble, “又在胡思乱想了!” Hahaha. My mind merely works all the time. Especially when so many things happen around me in my social circle, sometimes I will get curious and ask for his views. But he always dont have any constructive comments for me la, keep saying “nahz, it wont happen one lah. You think too much.” Ya right, nobody knows lor. Guys. Hng~ =P