You might be better off without me in your life. =)

I’m being polite in my title okie~ =P

(P/S Written this post some time back but no time to edit and post it up! Here it is, I thought I need to tell my lovely friends/readers that I’m alive, kicking and very happy, as usual. =D )

As much as 一种米养百种人, as much as sometimes I meet annoying people from all walks of life, I’m glad that whenever I’m down, I always have very good friends around me who showed me concern in every different ways.

Some meet me up with for drinks
Some listen to me grumble over dinners
Some type long long messages to me in Facebook

I’m really touched. And very paiseh! =P

Though rest assured I will also always be there whenever you need me. That is, if you want me to. =)

At my age, I would say most of us have a lot of commitments, alot of inspirations and alot of things which need our attention. I think I’m considered pretty lucky among some of my friends….yeah…I heard that many times and some friends dont understand why I can get emotional over some minor things. *paiseh*

I know I’m very 幸福. =) Er…maybe because too 幸福 le….so whenever some tinnnyyyy, minor thing which suddenly seems too pessimistic to know, I’ll get….you know, emotional. =P

Hmm……I really feel I used to be made of tougher material. I’ve been through so much in my life to finally come to where I am now; having a peaceful and blissful life especially with my most beloved beside me. You cant imagine the life I had previously when everyday there were quarrels between parents in the house, young siblings crying day and night, the constant worry that I will be unable to finish school because of the inability to pay school fees.

During those difficult times, it’s like……every little obstacle in life is like a challenge and I always take them up as if it’s as common climbing a flight of stairs. I dont like them but at least, I wont get emotional over them or worse, afraid of them. In my mind, I only focus on how to conquer because I was all alone. I know I have to do it and I MUST do it. Nobody can help me.

I hereby conclude the reason for me being getting more and more sissy and gu-niang is because life has been fantastic and simply great. I’ve been so spoilt that I cant even handle obstacles which I used to snort in it’s face. =X

I even re-read my old blog and alot of memories came flowing back.

I remembered how difficult some of my old employers were and how I dare to retaliate them with snort and wit.

I remembered how cynical I was with men after an ex broke my heart, that I simply forgot how to love.

I remembered how I used to say whatever I want on my blog, to my friends and anyone who crosses my path, to the extent that people call me Little Chilli Padi because I was so damn guai lan. But weirdly, I was actually..erm…quite well-liked by both sexes then!

Now that I think of it, it’s so bizarre. How can anyone like me when I was so foul-mouthed and guai lan back then? I mean, after 6 years in sales, I have certainly toned down and improved my temper and learned to be more tactful. But I was really…….very jialat a decade ago.

For example, if a guy whom I dont like profess his undying love to me, I will say things like, “I will never like you. Never. You understand? Now leave me alone.”

I’m that mean! But dont understand why some guys just 犯贱 lah. Their eyes tiak stamp I think.

Strangely enough, after I became “nicer”, my number of suitors dropped. Perhaps old liao and got uglier. Wahahahaha. =P

Actually I feel men, as in Earthlings, get more and more complicated and sensitive when one grows up. 1 good example will be, when I just got graduated not long and was getting into my first job, all my classmates were enthusiastically discussing about which industry, which company we got into and how much wages we were getting.

Back then, we were really innocent(at least I was).

Just try asking the question of wages merely 3 years down the road(even it’s close friend) and all the attitudes will change.

You see, we change. Human change. We just got more…complicated…guarded…and more competitive by nature.

By competitive, it’s not only subjected to career, it even extended to popularity with guys.

Sigh~ Dont understand why? Some girls can get damn competitive at the tender age of 15. And it got worse when they reached 17-18. And some dont even stop after they reached 28-30 or even after they’re married.

Sometimes I think, why is it their ages increase but their level of maturity never?

Perhaps I’m never a beauty to start with so I can hardly care about competing for popularity with guys. But some girls, most of them gorgeous, can get so insane with their competition in popularity! And I’m not even talking about guys whom they like. I really dont like the quarrels which sprang from my existence especially when I did nothing to incite those displeasure. ZzZzz.

Haha Enough of yakking away~ Yes! I need to get all cynical and skeptical again to some people who’s not worth it because sometimes it just doesnt pay to be too nice or too truthful, even though your intentions are kind. It’s like I “exerted” much time and tact cum re-adjust my emotions to phrase my sentences ever so carefully to them so that I wont affect them emotionally in any way. BUT the words which sprouted out from their mouths are just oh-my-god, as if they never think with their head or consider how other people feel at all~

*breathe deeply*

Okie fine, perhaps tried as I did, I’m still not as tactful as needed but since I’m not the only person who has problems with those people who has problems with me, I guess I dont have much of a problem. LOL~

No lah just kidding. I’m not perfect, I know very well. =P I will continue to try to improve myself. But if I really just cant please some people, then I just need to avoid them because I dont wish to cause unhappiness to them. I wish them happiness always. =)

I truly believe I still can be very happy with my current group of lovelies and most of all, my beloved hubby who doted me to bits and my caring and cute mummy. =D


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