他就是没有我的心…

Hmm..I haven been blogging for awhile. It’s like, there’s nothing interesting in my life, except my infuriating husband. Speaking of him, I HAVE STUFF TO BLOG AGAIN.

Yes dear, I’m talking bad of you again. HA! What can you do? Start a blog also lo. =P

And this morning went…I was feeling sore again because a sickening cold sore was on the top of my upper lip. Dearie was nice enough to call in the early afternoon to ask what breakfast to buy for me on the way back. After saying my order, I thanked him prettily.

I was famished actually, and looking forward to my Kuey Zup with duck meat, egg and dao pok, which are my usual order. I dislike all the intestines and stuff and I thought dearie knew that since I ordered many times infront of him before.

But I was disappointed again. Dearie went to the toilet immediately after he dropped the food. With that disgusting intestines among my food, I really dont have much appetite to eat. Nevertheless, I transferred all those intestines into dearie’s packet of rice and ate in silence. And so, when he’s back, he asked me whether were the food nice. I mumbled some reply, still waiting for him to explain to me. But there was none. Oh and after awhile, he came to pass me some of his duck meat into my lunch.

I couldnt contain it anymore. So I blurted quite in a unfriendly way, “Why you bought intestines for me? After so long, dont you know I dont eat them?”

“Aiya…I know…but when I wanted to change my order, the boss already chopped liao…so bo bian lor.”

“What bo bian? If you dont want then just say dont want. Other customers can always have those what.”

“He say cannot lor….”

Okie so I ignored him…but no more appetite to finish the food already.

You might think it’s a small matter but to me,

1) He’s just dont have my heart lor (Please translate to chinese, 他就是没有我的心lo(dont have my interest at heart). It’s not the 1st time that he got my order wrong or forget what I like and dont like to eat. To me it’s no difference whether he did remember to change the order, because what was brought back was still not what I wanted.

2) The way he acted blur about his mistake and attempted to find other excuse, a.k.a, the boss dont allow him to change the order. His claim: he need the loo urgently when he reached home so forgot to mention to me, not even when he started eating his damn duck rice.

3) He dont apologise UNTIL he saw I got pissed and ignored him.

Actually I’m more than pissed. Tears just started to drop. Oh well, call me dramatic. But it’s like..so sad…your husband forever dont know what you want!

Like previously I was sick. I wasnt too lazy to go to the doctor myself. I’m always independent. But that day I was really too sick to go to the doctor. No concern message from him whatsoever the whole day when he’s at work since morning. Till I asked him where he was. His reply came like 5 hours later and his answer was he was on duty in the office, and “why, miss me ah? =)”

Haha. What a joke. The previous night he already…my god, he should have known I’m already having a bad sorethroat. But no…no offer to bring me to the doctor….fine….but not even a message of concern! I’ve lost count of the times when I needed him most but he’s always, always not there. This time round, I know he cant get away from his duty, but, cant he just drop me a message? A message will suffice. And for the numerous previous occasions, he simply meet his clients and forgot all about me. I might be a little selfish to be thinking, “meet client another day will die is it?”

Sometimes I simply dont understand why a mere friend can take leave to bring me go see doc, or a concerned ex-bf can even come fetch me to see doctor, but not he. Not a self-employed who has his own time own target.

I’ve said umpteen times. I’m not a girl who needs alot of attention all the time. He can be with his laptop or the PSP the WHOLE DAY, YES, THE WHOLE DAY and I’m cool with it because I know how to self-entertain myself. I merely…merely wish he’s there to bring me to see the doctor when I’m too sick to make the trip. And ya..buying the food I like to eat when I’m not feeling too well too. Is that really so much to ask?

So…after ALLLLL these complaints, he finally…FINALLY….apologised. That’s like…so…lame…so….

Oh ya, he did say he’s not acting blur nor find excuses or whatsoever…despite some truth here and there…I’m simply appalled at the the…coincidences…like he remembered what I wanted to eat but wasnt in time to say his order before the order was taken…like how he needed the loo urgently when he reached home so didnt tell me he got the order wrong..or like when he’s saying his duck rice, he was also somehow preoccupied that he forgot to tell me he got my food wrong.

He claimed I dont believe or trust him. I do. But sometimes…his insensitivity and muddleheadedness(if there’s such a word whatsoever) really can get me blown up. I mean, I’m not god leh…there’s really a limit to how much I can take and I’m just sorry I’m not that chin chai. Because I genuinely take an interest in him, I will hope that it’s mutual. You dont have to do as much as I did…but got a minimum standard mah. I cant imagine after 10 years I still have to remind you the 10,000th time I dont like intestines in my food, etc etc. It’s like if I know you dont take calamari but repeatedly asked you whether you want calamari when we go for dinners, you will pek chey also one right??

Haiz……….I feel not everything should be excused purely because you are blur. So if I got poor memory then I can be excused for forgetting your birthday? Alamak, you must first take an interest and make an effort to remember it mah.

Please, put some effort.

I know your parents brought you up the same way they were brought up, with little or no EQ, but you can learn one mah.

So you will wonder, how will I NOT be pissed in such a scenario?

It’s so easy.

Come back, first thing, before you go toilet, before you dumped the food on the table, BEFORE I happily opened my lunch expecting all the food I like, just tell me, “dear, sorry leh…just now I cant change the order to what you want in time, because the boss say cannot change as he already chopped liao…so your order got the intestines…”

I will be sian 1/2 lah but at least I wont be angry lor and I will accept it.

Before he apologised again with some sincerity, he was actually piling on credits by stating all his other good points, like got fetch me home, accompany me shopping when he’s tired etc. I mean, wtf? 2 wrongs dont make a right, and 2 rights doesnt justify a wrong. Just doesnt make sense to me lor his explanations. Normal people will say they will put in effort and improve, not him leh(at least not in the beginning, he only said these when he “surrendered”). To me, it’s as ridiculous as, “oh..although I’m unfaithful to you, I always buy you alot of LV bags leh”. 莫明其妙.

“but…if the other good points cannot be counted…then I dont have much good points left liao leh…”

=.= Sometimes is really, 又好气,又好笑.

Now, we’re actually good already after some pacifying from him. But think back still abit pissed, abit sian and abit sad. Humph! He better make it up to me on our coming cruise on sunday.

Be back on Wed.

Hopefully I wont let him anger till jump into the sea.

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